Supporting Your Child’s Nervous System During the Holidays
Every year as the holiday season approaches, there’s a subtle shift that happens—not just in kids, but in all of us. The rhythms we’ve settled into start to wobble. Days get fuller, louder, busier. The emotional temperature in the house changes a little. And suddenly the small things feel bigger: sleep gets thrown off, routines disappear, energy spikes and crashes, and emotions—both joyful and tender—sit closer to the surface.
When adults notice this in kids, it can be easy to assume it means something is wrong. Or that progress has been lost. Or that familiar challenges are coming back. But in most cases, what looks like “regression” is really a nervous system responding to change.
And this time of year brings a lot of change.
Why the Holidays Feel Different
The holiday season rarely moves at the same pace as the rest of the year. Routines loosen. Schedules shift. Homes feel different. The emotional tone in the air changes—sometimes warm and joyful, sometimes tense or hurried, often a mix of both. Even the good things—time off school, fun plans, travel, decorations, special foods—still count as change. And the nervous system doesn’t sort change into “good” or “bad.” It simply registers difference, and difference takes energy to adapt to.
For kids, that shift can feel like a lot. Not necessarily too much—just more than their body usually navigates at once. So their threshold for stress, noise, or transitions gets a little smaller. They might:
need more closeness or reassurance
get frustrated more quickly
seem more tired or sensitive
melt down over things they normally handle
pull back or cling more than usual
This isn’t regression, misbehavior, or a red flag. It’s communication. It’s a developing nervous system working hard to adjust to an environment with:
fewer predictable routines
more sensory input (lights, sounds, smells, new places)
increased social interaction
unpredictable day-to-day rhythms
adults whose energy is also different—excited, stressed, nostalgic, overwhelmed
None of this is inherently negative. But it creates a different kind of load for kids. And their bodies respond in the only ways they know how. Often, what looks like “acting out” is just the natural overflow of a system doing its best to keep up.
What Can Help (Without Turning the Season Into Another Checklist)
Supporting kids through this time of year doesn’t require a perfectly thought-out plan. Most of the time, it’s the tiny shifts that matter—the things that bring a bit of predictability or softness back into days that feel more chaotic than usual. Not to prevent big feelings (those are part of being human), but to give kids something steady to land on when they’re more dysregulated than normal.
A few practices tend to help many families—not as rules, but as gentle touchpoints you can adapt to your own rhythms and capacity:
Create simple daily anchors. One or two small rituals—a loose morning rhythm, a predictable bedtime flow, five minutes of shared quiet—can help bodies remember what “steady” feels like.
Build in breaks before overwhelm hits. Kids regulate more easily when breaks are proactive rather than reactive. This could look like a quiet corner, a walk outside, solo play time, a calm room, or simply lowering stimulation for a bit. It doesn’t need to be elaborate.
Give a little preview of what’s coming. Abrupt transitions are hard for nervous systems of any age. A quick rundown of who will be there, how long you’ll stay, what the environment might be like, or where they can take space helps things feel less unpredictable. Even teens respond to this—whether or not they admit it.
Normalize big feelings. Instead of rushing to fix or correct, make room for the emotions that naturally come with excitement, change, and sensory overload. Simple, neutral reflections go a long way:
“Wow, this is a lot at once.”
“Big days can make big feelings.”
“Your body might be feeling more sensitive right now.”Lower expectations, increase grace. Screens might creep up. Bedtimes might wobble. Dinner might look more like snacks. Kids might cling more. You might feel stretched thin. None of this is a failure; it’s seasonal. It’s human. And it doesn’t take away from the fact that you’re showing up with intention and care.
Even With Support, Big Feelings Will Still Happen
One of the most important truths about this season is that you can do everything “right”—plan ahead, offer comfort, keep routines steady, build in breaks—and your child may still have hard moments.
That doesn’t say anything about your parenting, their progress, or your family dynamic. It simply reflects the reality that this time of year asks more of everyone.
The goal isn’t to avoid dysregulation or overwhelm. The goal is to move through it together with a little more gentleness, a little more spaciousness, and a lot less pressure to make every moment “feel special.”
Compassion Matters—for Them and for You
The holidays carry a cultural expectation of joy, harmony, and “making memories.” But special doesn’t always mean peaceful. Sometimes special looks like honesty: Things are different right now, and it makes sense that our bodies feel that.
Kids pick up more than we realize—our stress, our tenderness, our excitement, our fatigue. They’re responding to our nervous systems just as much as we’re responding to theirs. So compassion toward yourself isn’t indulgent. It’s regulating. It’s stabilizing. It directly supports them.
A holiday season grounded in connection doesn’t look perfect. It looks human—where feelings have room, expectations can bend, and everyone gets to be a little more sensitive than usual.
If You’re Feeling Like Your Child Might Need More Support This Season
For some families, the holidays bring clarity. When the usual school-day structure falls away, you may start to notice things that were easy to gloss over in September and October—more sensitivity, more overwhelm, more confusion about what’s “typical,” more moments where something just feels off.
Sometimes it’s simply the season.
And sometimes it’s a sign that a deeper look could help everyone understand what’s happening beneath the surface.
If you’ve been wondering about ADHD, autism, learning differences, anxiety, or emotional regulation, this is a natural time for those questions to emerge. And you’re not alone in asking them.
Our clinic provides comprehensive, culturally responsive evaluations for children, teens, and young adults in Oregon and Washington. We take our time. We get to know your child as a whole human—their strengths, their story, their environment—not just their test scores. And when the evaluation is complete, you don’t just get a report—you get collaboration, direction, and a plan that feels doable and grounded in who your child actually is.
The end of the year tends to fill quickly as families try to put supports in place before January. If you think an evaluation might be helpful—or if you just want space to talk through your questions—now can be a good time to reach out. There’s no pressure to commit; sometimes a brief conversation is enough to give you clarity.
We’re here, and we’re happy to support you.
If you’d like to request an evaluation before our January calendar fills, you can reach out anytime.
